Motherhood Unfiltered With Lacy Lain

About Lacy

Hello! My name is Lacy and I am wife to Caleb and momma to sweet Sparrow. She is the best, cutest, funniest, and most awesome tiny thing in the entire world and I can’t even tell you how much I love her. She’s my first and I hope big sister to many. I am that crazy mom that, as my sister puts it “has an addiction to kids,” which she now often tells me is more expensive than her shoe addiction. I can’t argue. I do. I love being a Momma. It’s the best job I’ve ever had. I also currently work for my parents at their ranch/retreat center. It’s a lot more work than I thought it would be and it’s honestly hard to be a Momma and work full time (without any childcare but we have a wonderful 12-year old that loves playing with my niece and Sparrow while we do stuff), and run my blog. BUT I am doing it and trusting that the Lord is going to take care of everything and He always does.

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Motherhood Unfiltered

Q. How did becoming a mother change you?

Lacy I think becoming a Mother has grown this love that I even imagined in me, not just for my daughter, but for my husband too. I can’t really explain it, but we’ve had a tough year (her first year of life has been anything but normal), and I just love them more and appreciate each day with them. I felt like it was exactly what I was created for.

Q. Are you a conventional or unconventional mother?

Lacy I’m not even sure what a conventional mother is these days. I refer to myself as a ‘sort of crunchy mom, but I like chocolate and coffee creamer’ I don’t know if that tells you much, but we cloth diaper (and I use disposable all the time…especially at night), we feed our daughter mostly organic food (not just because it is the thing to do, but for health reasons) but I pull bugs and random things out of her mouth on a regular basis, so I’m going to say conventionally, unconventional…covering all the bases.

Q. What is the hardest part of being a Mother based on your experience?

Lacy Hands down sleep deprivation and keeping up a household. I had a breakdown this year and decided that I don’t need half the crap in our house and why the heck am I keeping it if all it does is stress me out and take time away from Sparrow. So, I am literally overhauling our house to make keeping our house clean and orderly, to allow me to spend my time with her. And the sleep thing, let’s be honest, coffee just tastes good these days because when you become a mom you become immune very quickly to caffeine. Now that Sparrow is older, it literally kills me when she is hurt of sad. It like kills me on the inside. Today she fell and hit her head and cried crocodile tears and it crushed me.

Q. Is Motherhood different than you had imagined? Is your reality better than what you imagined?

Lacy At first it was worse. I tried to have a realistic head on my shoulders when I had Sparrow. I wanted to breast feed and I wanted to have her naturally with no drugs, you know the “crunchy” side of me. I also had a friend that had her baby almost exactly a month before me and had literally no problems breastfeeding and her daughter latched the first time and it was one of those blissful perfect moments for her. I, on the other hand, didn’t have one of those. She stopped growing in the womb and they had to induce me and take her early. I did get to have her vaginally, but let me just say that none of the rest of it went according to plan. I struggled so hard the first 6 weeks or so and honestly thought I was going to lose it a few times, but at this point in the motherhood game… I love it! I just had a rocky start. And really, those first 6 weeks weren’t horrible, it was just the breastfeeding thing mainly that ate my lunch.
Q. Who is your ‘mom’ role model?

Lacy That’s a great question. My sister definitely! She’s a single momma to the cutest, smartest, funniest 2 year old on the planet. She has had a less than ideal time as a mother, but she’s the best mom I know. I also have a few friends, Sharalee, Elizabeth, and Kellie that I look up to as mommas and I take all their advice to heart. Sharalee has 7 kiddos and an amazing testimony and all her kids adore her and she’s basically the Proverbs 31 woman in real life. Kellie is a momma to 4 and they are the most well behaved, polite, adorable kids you’ve ever met, seriously I feel like they aren’t real life Mommas. And Elizabeth, she has 3 and they all have hearts for missions and telling people about Jesus. It’s kind of incredible and I look up to all of them.

Q. What do you do for ‘me time’? Or share something you do to recharge.

Lacy I actually wrote an article on “Me Time” a few weeks ago. I said in the article that I like taking a bath and just relaxing, but I just started journaling again, and baths are cool, but that is my happy place.

Q. Share a family tradition you do with your kids.

Lacy We don’t have any traditions with our kid(s) yet because Sparrow is not even a year yet. BUT we have tried to start a few things. One that I want to start this year is one present for Christmas and then just “memory making” I want to be intentional with our kids and not fall into this version of holidays that society places on us. I want to decorate cookies and cinnamon rolls and go into sugar comas while watching White Christmas and singing all the songs and dancing to all of it and just spending time with our kids v. buying them presents and hanging out during opening time and going about our business. My family is very close and I want that for my kids too.

Q. What is the biggest mistake you’ve made as a mother?

Lacy HAHAHA Mistake? Which one haven’t I made is a better question and I’m sure there are so much more to come…teen years! I’m terrified of those! I try not to dwell on them or be too hard on myself. I know as moms none of us do it perfectly, so when I feel like I’m having a #motherhoodfail kind of day I want to obviously learn from it, but not regret any of it. 

Q. What’s the one thing you wish you could do differently as a mother?

Lacy One thing I wish I could do differently. I think it would be staying at home more with her. Right now, we are gone most of the day and I don’t like it even a little bit. I am thankful to be working for my parents, but I do miss being at home with her and spending my whole day with her. I just want to help her take her first step and I want to see her do everything and I want to be the one to teach her things. It’s been a serious struggle, although I know it’s just a season.

Q. As a mother, what do you feel you miss out on the most?

Lacy This is an easy one, my husband is our worship leader at our church, but he’s also the missions pastor and college leader, and choir director for youth and adults. So, he goes on all the trips, that I used to go on, so I miss that. BUT I would miss being at home with her even more if I was on the trip, it’s basically a lose/lose situation. I also miss going to the bathroom without a tiny person drooling on the mirror and high-fiving herself while I’m sitting on the toilet. BUT then again, it’s the cutest thing ever, so I don’t hate it.

Q. What is one thing you wish to teach your children?

Lacy That Jesus is the most important thing and if they miss that nothing else matters. I want to teach them that they need nothing else but Him. And I pray that they see that and that He meets every single one of our needs at all times.

Q. What is your biggest fear as a mother?

Lacy Not spending eternity with my entire family. It scary! You just hear stories of families with kids that walk away from the Lord (I was actually one of those kids at one point, praise the Lord, He opened my eyes and literally brought me out of darkness and chaos). I just pray that they know Jesus.

I guess unrelated to that we are about to go through a sort of weird adoption process (you can read about that on my blog later I hope to share all about it) but I have some fears about the whole thing, but I also know it’s something God has called us to and I already love our future babies so much I can’t wait for them to be here, but when they ask questions, I know that will be hard and I am scared for those days.

Q. What word would your kid (s) use to describe you? and why?

Lacy Well, my husband, and his siblings refer to his mom as a “momma bear” and while it seems like a negative thing, I would hope my kids would say the same of me one day. I just want them to know that I love them and would be there for them no matter what, and I want them to know that I love Jesus. I want to be the kind of mom that my kids learn how to have a relationship with the Lord from and that in everything gives glory to God (obviously I’ll fail at this, but that’s the point, because then Jesus’ power is perfected and my kids will see His power at work in my life-I hope). I want to be a mom that gives grace and mercy in discipline but allows consequences. I also want to be patient….but I’ve got to constantly be working on that and asking the Lord to give it to me freely….and abundantly.

Q. What is one piece of advice you would give a new or expectant mother?

Lacy Just love your kids. You can read every article on Pinterest possible to try and prepare for motherhood, but your experience will be your own. Half the hacks are dumb and don’t work, your kid is different from literally every other baby on the planet and you know them better than anyone else. Yes, including the doctor that just examined them. You are the parent that God chose and saw fit to give this baby(s) to so, parent them how you see fit.

AND don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family for help or a break to go to the bathroom or go get groceries or just go for a walk or whatever. When people say it takes a village, that’s true, use your village, because I am pretty positive that me and every other woman I know would love to snuggle a tiny baby anytime anyone needed me to for an hour or so.

AND EAT! I would literally opt out of eating to sleep and then be even more drained. Make yourself eat and sleep if you have to.

AND have your husband or friend or family member or someone be the “bad guy” people will want to come see your baby, or HOLD or TOUCH your baby (I hated those things obviously). They’ll want to see you and meet the baby and if you need to sleep or you need to take a break or whatever, do it! Even if you just don’t feel like seeing anyone. That’s okay! YOU JUST HAD A BABY! Don’t feel bad about telling people that they can’t come over. It will seem harsh, but let’s be honest they’ll see the baby the rest of it’s life and if they’ve ever had a baby they’ll completely understand, surely.

AND it’s okay to not be okay. Postpartum stuff is real and sucks and it’s okay to want to crawl in a hole and disappear for an hour or 6.

AND take advantage of the nurses during your hospital stay. When you get home the nurses are gone and you have to do everything, so take advantage of it and sleep while you can. I knew and trusted all the nurses and I was so thankful that I go sleep in the hospital.

AND take an extra bag (like a TJ MAXX bag that you can fold up pretty small and stuff in your hospital bag) for all the stuff they give you at the hospital, diapers, wipes, pacifier, cold pack for your girl parts, breast pump parts, etc.

Talk to your husband when you’re struggling and figure out a routine that allows you to sleep some. My husband, thankfully, is an early riser. He would take Sparrow in the mornings around 5ish and let me sleep for a few hours before he left for work. I have fond memories of him taking her and me laying my head back down on my pillow. The first few times I got really emotional I didn’t want him to take her, because I just wanted to be with her at all times, but I do remember a few days into it thinking how much better my time with her in the mornings was because I could function.

AND last little thing, I bought adult diapers and took to the hospital with me and let me just say that the love I have for those things after a vaginal birth and tearing is unreal. I feel like I owe a debt to adult diapers that I can never repay. They were the best!

Q. What do you wish your kid (s) knew about you?

Lacy I feel like I’m going to be pretty transparent with my kiddos. So, I’m not sure. I guess that I’m not perfect, but I love them with every fiber of my being.

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